Category: Uncategorized

Sometimes they go by faster than others. Not even sure where a few of the days even went. It is frustrating to try and take account of things when they just run together or I just don’t remember them.
The last several days I have wanted to write a blog post and the words just fall flat. Maybe this next week will be better, less stressful.

For decades black Americans have been killed by police at a statistically disproportionate number than whites in similar circumstances. A year ago the killing of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO broke the camels back leading to protests and riots and the rise of the BlackLivesMatter movement. For these many decades white Americans have predominately remained silent, those who have been vocal usually are quick to offer many reasons why those who died deserved what happened; they shouldn’t have been doing something wrong or disobeying the police.
Now here come the logic gymnastics. A white teenager is killed during a drug bust and instead of outrage with more excessive policing and another possibly unnecessary death; the anger turns towards the BlackLivesMatter movement because THEIR SILENCE is racism. Because they are not having protests in the name of the white teenager, then they are the problem.
So decades of silence by the majority of Americans was OK but if black Americans want to stand up against the violence then they have to carry the torch for everyone.
I just don’t get it, I really don’t. What I do think though is that if you respond to BlackLivesMatter with AllLivesMatter then you damn sure better put your money where your mouth is and be protesting every killing that occurs not just complaining when another group just joins in your silence.

For a good explanation of BlackLivesMatter please read the following, original is at the following link
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/3du1qm/eli5_why_is_it_so_controversial_when_someone_says/

"Imagine that you’re sitting down to dinner with your family, and while everyone else gets a serving of the meal, you don’t get any. So you say "I should get my fair share." And as a direct response to this, your dad corrects you, saying, "everyone should get their fair share." Now, that’s a wonderful sentiment — indeed, everyone should, and that was kinda your point in the first place: that you should be a part of everyone, and you should get your fair share also. However, dad’s smart-ass comment just dismissed you and didn’t solve the problem that you still haven’t gotten any!

The problem is that the statement "I should get my fair share" had an implicit "too" at the end: "I should get my fair share, too, just like everyone else." But your dad’s response treated your statement as though you meant "only I should get my fair share", which clearly was not your intention. As a result, his statement that "everyone should get their fair share," while true, only served to ignore the problem you were trying to point out.

That’s the situation of the "black lives matter" movement. Culture, laws, the arts, religion, and everyone else repeatedly suggest that all lives should matter. Clearly, that message already abounds in our society.

The problem is that, in practice, the world doesn’t work the way. You see the film Nightcrawler? You know the part where Renee Russo tells Jake Gyllenhal that she doesn’t want footage of a black or latino person dying, she wants news stories about affluent white people being killed? That’s not made up out of whole cloth — there is a news bias toward stories that the majority of the audience (who are white) can identify with. So when a young black man gets killed (prior to the recent police shootings), it’s generally not considered "news", while a middle-aged white woman being killed is treated as news. And to a large degree, that is accurate — young black men are killed in significantly disproportionate numbers, which is why we don’t treat it as anything new. But the result is that, societally, we don’t pay as much attention to certain people’s deaths as we do to others. So, currently, we don’t treat all lives as though they matter equally.

Just like asking dad for your fair share, the phrase "black lives matter" also has an implicit "too" at the end: it’s saying that black lives should also matter. But responding to this by saying "alllives matter" is willfully going back to ignoring the problem. It’s a way of dismissing the statement by falsely suggesting that it means "only black lives matter," when that is obviously not the case. And so saying "all lives matter" as a direct response to "black lives matter" is essentially saying that we should just go back to ignoring the problem.

TL;DR: The phrase "Black lives matter" carries an implicit "too" at the end; it’s saying that black lives should also matter. Saying "all lives matter" is dismissing the very problems that the phrase is trying to draw attention to."

As I examine my life I think it is important to dive deeply and get to the bottom of my issues so I can grow. To this end I think it is important to look at the people and situations when I am judgmental, maybe in doing so I can come to terms with them. I expect that some will read what I write and get angered or offended, I fully understand.
I am judgmental of specific groups of wealthy people. The first group are those who build their wealth at the expense of those who work for them, increasing their wealth year over year while the wages they pay remain stagnant or increase at a trickle. Second are those who want the money they earn from capital gains to be taxed at lower rates than wages. Then there are those who act like their wealth makes them better than everyone else, that they deserve special consideration and use their wealth to buy access to government. My judgmental attitude stems from an aversion to greed and what I perceive as greed as well as a desire for social justice. I started feeling this way when I got to high school and encountered my first wealthy people. The cliques at my high school really opened my eyes to disparity of wealth and the attitudes they held against those who they saw as beneath them helped shape my view towards these groups. I have come a long way though as 20 years ago I was judgmental against all who are wealthy. Over the years I have come to understand that there are many good people who just happen to be wealthy but the ones who fall into these groups I struggle not to be judgmental of them.
I am judgmental of certain types of religious people. The first type cover their vehicles with religious symbols and drive like no one else is on the road with them; cutting people off, running stop signs, endangering others. The second type use their religion for their own personal gain by including religious symbols in their advertising and signage for the attention of attracting business. The other type are those who wear their religious beliefs as a badge, say things that are completely in opposition to the beliefs they espouse, want to force their religion on others and claim persecution when people disagree with or oppose them. What can I say I know that people are not perfect, we stumble and fall all the time, we get in a hurry going places but the rest of the world is watching and forming opinions, making judgements. The others the only thing I can say is they just irritate me partially because I have been on the vendor side of a couple of “religious” businesses and it left such an impression that I see certain things and I won’t do business with a company. The other type I wouldn’t even know where to begin or what to say.
I am also judgmental of the news media that jump to conclusions too quickly and those who mix the reporting of news with opinion. Breaking news is important, we need to be informed but when news channels care more about ratings, don’t vet their sources and allow the line between opinion and news to blur they do us all a disservice. I am also judgmental of those who repeat what they hear on these outlets as if it was gospel truth. Sometimes it takes time to sort through information and people just need to be patient, maintain an open mind and let the truth come out. I really think it would be nice if news outlets could only provide news, weather and sports; facts and figures. Anytime they report false information, omit information to shape opinion or give opinion then they should be punished harshly and publicly. Opinion should be provide through another outlet with prominent water marks stating that it is opinion and not facts. Then I could just agree or disagree with opinions and have a better idea what is going on in the world. People that discriminate for any reason and in any manner.
When I encounter these people or situations I get very irritated and at times angry. I just don’t know how to just let it go; there is no reason I should let these things eat at me the way I do, it isn’t like I am going to change anyone’s view of the world especially if all I can do is get angry.
So how do I work on myself so I can let go of this anger and worry about more important things; like people who could use my help? What are we supposed to do as individuals when we struggle this way?

I do not want to be a judgmental person, but I am. I do try not to be, but I keep doing it and it frustrates me to no end.
It is one of the many faults that I struggle with in my life and I have my fair share of faults. Everyone does. That is one of the biggest reasons why we should not judge others, because we are not perfect.
What we can and should do though is exam our own lives, constantly strive to improve ourselves.

So Jesus came not as a general or a political leader but as a sacrificial lamb; preaching the Kingdom of God, repentance and love. Espousing such ideas as turning the other cheek, going the second mile, forgiveness and to spread the gospel that he taught. And he clearly lays out that those who follow him will be persecuted in his name, even killed and they must not lose faith.

In Texas a pastor shot someone  who broke into a church. “I commanded him to stop twice, and he didn’t. So fearing for my life, I did what I had to do,” Mr. Holmes told a local ABC affiliate. Now after what happened in Charleston, SC I completely understand the sentiment of Pastor Holmes.

What I ponder is how does one truly embrace faith completely, where the fear of losing ones own life no longer exists. What would it be like to face everything that might come with no fear only peace of mind and soul?

It is difficult when I can’t carry on a conversation. In fact as far back as I can remember I have struggled to speak with people. There have of course been a few exceptions along the way but most of the time I can’t get the thoughts in my head and articulate them, they usually remain stuck. I desperately want to change that about myself.
In life we make choices; some good, some bad and some just in between. We have to live with the choices we make, learn from them and grow as a person. Sometimes even the good choices can eventually take us to places we don’t want to go, as circumstances change and the tide that took us into the shore turns and pulls us out into the deep. We should always remember that there are people we care about who can help see us through or we can help see through their struggles; even if we can only lend an ear.

Throughout my life I have encountered two different types of Christian people who want to influence my life. These two different types of people have always left me conflicted on Christianity and my own personal beliefs in life. Understand I am not judging either type instead what I am doing is simply providing a particular perspective gleaned from many years interacting with different people. I could add more disclaimers but the reality is that all of us will read this differently and some will take offense but I will write this anyways.
The first type of person who I will refer to as person A, proclaims to the world with their words and deeds “I am saved, I am forgiven, I am perfect!”. The second type of person or person B, proclaims with their words and deeds “God has saved me, God forgives me, I am not perfect”.
Now person A comes across to those who are not Christian as brash and rude; and that really does not bother them as they are unapologetic. Early in getting to know you they will ask “are you saved” and “what church do you attend” and it comes across not as “hey I want to know you as a person” but “I have to know if you are like me”. Not responding fast enough or with the right answers that they want to hear will unleash a barrage. Person B may not ever directly broach the subject of these two questions instead they may at some point invite you to attend a special function at their church or lend an attentive ear, be a friend and share their life. Their interactions with the people in their lives makes you desire to become their friend and get to know them. They can be generous to a fault but do their best not to allow others to see the extent of their charity.
Person A seems to always be railing against small specific groups of people for their particular sins; in this they are also very vocal and unapologetic; often times expressing how the country is going down hill because of particular people. Person B seems to always be helping people and making friends, they are very vocal about protecting the secular rights of other people and can look past the sins people commit to offer them love; they meet people where they are in life.
These are two very distinct points of view of what is supposed to be the same religious belief. How people who are not Christian react to them can be very different. A non Christian will encounter person A and this will establish a negative opinion of Christians and Christianity. If they encounter person B first they may have a favorable opinion and be open to learning more about Christianity until they encounter person A then their opinion may change.
So what is a person to do? Does anyone else encounter these types of people and if so how do you deal with this situation?

Somedays I just get frustrated. Words escape me. I see injustice and blindness in this world and I want to speak out and falter because I know that words have this great power; they often times only tell us what we want to hear.
I could for example provide a passage of scripture for people to think about but where would their thoughts go first. For example in Daniel 4:27 "Therefore, Your Majesty, be pleased to accept my advice: Renounce your sins by doing what is right, and your wickedness by being kind to the oppressed. It may be that then your prosperity will continue.” Do you immediately only think these words are meant just for King Nebuchadnezzar. Perhaps you know someone else that you see as sinful and wicked; oh yes those words are for them.
If I then tell you that Black lives Matter, what is your response?
What then if give you this passage to ponder, Luke 14:12-14. "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return, and repayment come to you. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous." Ok that seems pretty straightforward.
If I then ask you to support the foodstamp program, what is your response?
How about something a bit more recent; "We the People in order to form a more Perfect union". Who are the we and why can’t they be trusted?
See those words can mean so many different things depending on what we want to hear and believe. It is our choice whether we deny the oppression of others or show them kindness, to feed the hungry or the wealthy, to see We as all or as only us.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” Frank Herbert, Dune
My favorite quote from the book Dune. But to me it is more than just a quote, it is an axiom to a truth about fear.
Fear can start from anywhere or anything. Fears can be rational or irrational. They can be small and inconsequential or can be all consuming. No matter though they can control our lives, kill our minds and enslave our souls. Only by facing our fears can we free ourselves.

Do you question whether other people love America?
Do you disparage other people based on their appearance?
Do you say or write anything that is in any way derogatory against another person or group of people?

If we do any of these things and if we are being honest with ourselves, we do. Then maybe we need to do some soul searching.

I am.