Month: April 2016

This is my first relay since my Dad passed away from cancer and it is an emotional experience. Trevor and I walked the care giver lap with Rosie Cox, a friend of my Dad’s from his days of teaching at Richards Middle School.
For all of my loved ones and friends who have battled cancer I love and remember you.

It has been 13-14 years since I started getting treatment for my depression though I believe the symptoms probably started back when I was a teenager and progressively have just gotten worse or time. The insomnia has been around just as long and I am treated for that as well and take medication every night in order to sleep.
One of the things I find very frustrating about myself is the amount of stress I seem to be in when I sleep. Most mornings including this one, I wake up with my teeth, jaw and neck hurting from grinding my teeth. I have tried mouth guards but that only changed where my jaw and teeth hurt. I wake up feeling as stressed out as I feel in the midst of a major problem, sometimes at the point of anxiety attack and I do not even know why. I do not remember my dreams and can be relaxed when I go to bed. Trying to relax before I go to work, otherwise it will be a disaster all day.

Just trying to get my head above water again. Telling myself I can do this, be positive, learn to be disciplined, not get dragged down by myself or the world around me. I think perhaps my mental and emotional state is just a microcosm of the world around me, chaos and uncertainty abound.
I am starting to perhaps wonder if I am not in some way an empath to the turmoil of this world.