My moods swing all over the place, my mind is even worse; an oftentimes confusing jumble of thoughts constantly flowing. Who I am as a person can change as well based on the intricacies of my mental and emotional states. That is one of the reasons social interaction is so hard for me; having to maintain a discipline with my personality is difficult when it is a moving target.
So what does all of this have to do with faith? Well I am struggling with the fact that I never seem to know who I am on any given day; especially as I am coming out of a state of depression and my mind is starting to race with a hundred different possibilities. I am overwhelmed. I want to do this and that, also something else. hey I need to start exercising because I need to get healthy. The yard needs some work. I need to finish that project. I need to clean the garage. I need to go out and help my Mom with this or that. I have thank you cards I need to get done. And these are just the last few minutes, on a blog post I have been writing for three days.
So how do I learn to have faith in this chaos? I hear so many people talk about their faith and how it is always there, even when they stumble or when things go bad in their lives they never lose their faith. I seem to be struggling every day just to have a little faith.
Charlie, I am so proud of you. While your questioning things I see growth. I can’t even articulate to those I love most the things that go on inside my head, and sometimes not even to myself. I do have , what I call a choppy thought journal that I write on occasion in a running conversation with God. That’s my closest friend since I feel pretty lonely most days and I know he is there regardless. I feel like looking to God’s word for how he feels about you and me is comforting. Im not to regular about it because im all over the place or just down, with little motivation. So if your searching, my suggestion is just see what God says about you, look at how he loves and see if that’s comforting at all. I try to get out of my head as much as possible since I find doing for others good therapy for me. Its not my plan for the day and is nice for me to ask him to put me where I’m needed and not make the decisions. Wow, I havnt had a lot to say lately and your journey is helping me too. I love you and hope this helps.
I love you too and it definitely helps. I want to say more but I am up against a brick wall mentally at the moment
It’s ok. The difference your making for me is enough. Im looking at myself and who I am differently, and that’s what matters. I like growth and being stagnant lately the change is nice. Xoxo