My mind is all over the place but there is something that weighs heavily and continues to push through the chaos that I want to share. This is one of the recurring thoughts that has lingered in my mind for almost two and a half decades, it is how I understand what it means to be a follower and disciple of Christ and it has caused me no end of frustration.
As I understand it we are to be obedient to God’s word specifically obedient to the words of his son Jesus Christ. That obedience starts with accepting Jesus as Savior and repenting of our sins but it goes beyond that; we must then follow the teaching and commands of Jesus (John 14:15-17) “If you love me, keep my commands. 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you." So in my mind this means you have to spend time reading and understanding the books of Mark, Matthew, Luke and John if you want to be a disciple of Christ and learn his commands. How else would you know the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:37–40) "Jesus answered by saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments”
This is something that has weighed on my heart and mind even when I turned away from God 24 years ago because I saw corruption in Christianity, churches full of hate towards their neighbors because they looked different or talked different. People who demanded to know where you go to church, cliques about denominations. One thing after another that could not be found in those four books from which all aspects of the christian life should flow and be measured; actions, behaviors and words that lacked love. Because of what I observed, the dark places I have been, and through the struggles within myself I know that hatred comes in many forms. Whether it is ignorance, indifference, selfishness or just out right hatred; anything that is not love then must be hate.
So that is what I am trying to learn and practice; love everyone unconditionally even myself, build a relationship with God and with those around me. Try and communicate with those I love despite how difficult it is for me to communicate. I know that I have a long way to go before I master how to love everyone unconditionally. In the meantime I found a passage that I believe teaches me what I should do as I work towards that end and will help me on my path.
Matthew 25:31-46
31 When the Son of Man comes in his glory with all of his angels, he will sit on his royal throne. 32 The people of all nations will be brought before him, and he will separate them, as shepherds separate their sheep from their goats.
33 He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 Then the king will say to those on his right, “My father has blessed you! Come and receive the kingdom that was prepared for you before the world was created. 35 When I was hungry, you gave me something to eat, and when I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was a stranger, you welcomed me, 36 and when I was naked, you gave me clothes to wear. When I was sick, you took care of me, and when I was in jail, you visited me.”
37 Then the ones who pleased the Lord will ask, “When did we give you something to eat or drink? 38 When did we welcome you as a stranger or give you clothes to wear 39 or visit you while you were sick or in jail?”
40 The king will answer, “Whenever you did it for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me.”
41 Then the king will say to those on his left, “Get away from me! You are under God’s curse. Go into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels! 42 I was hungry, but you did not give me anything to eat, and I was thirsty, but you did not give me anything to drink. 43 I was a stranger, but you did not welcome me, and I was naked, but you did not give me any clothes to wear. I was sick and in jail, but you did not take care of me.”
44 Then the people will ask, “Lord, when did we fail to help you when you were hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in jail?”
45 The king will say to them, “Whenever you failed to help any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you failed to do it for me.”
46 Then Jesus said, “Those people will be punished forever. But the ones who pleased God will have eternal life.”
I know this is but a start, I still have to learn to be humble and selfless; then their is the weakness of my faith that needs to be strengthened. But hey baby steps