To tear down or keep monuments to the confederacy

Now there is a tough discussion. How do we recognize those who fought and died without celebrating their cause; is that even possible? How do we move forward and try to find real healing if we are still stuck in the past celebrating a myth; built to nurture the wounded pride of the defeated? How do we stand up against the clamor of voices that by removing the memorials, we are rewriting history; voices who were silent when the south reinvented the war as "the war of northern aggression", voices that are not up in arms that Texas just rewrote history by reducing the importance of slavery and erased Jim Crow. Will removing the memorials do anything other than inflame the anger and hatred of those who want to keep them.
I personally believe that tearing down the monuments will not change the hearts of those who emotionally clutch at preserving their "rebel" heritage. Neither will it fix any of the long standing societal problems that slavery, segregation and racism have created. Realistically I believe it could push us to the brink or over the edge into armed insurrection, if the pro/neo-confederates are serious and back up their words with action.
Perhaps the bigger question is can we as a society every get past this underlying issue until we face it head on. Maybe we should instead erect memorials to those who suffered under slavery; place them right next to each confederate memorial, prominent and large to stand in opposition and as a reminder of the war. I believe though that the statues for the kkk founders should not be left standing and instead be replaced with memorials to those who suffered and died at the hands of the kkk. If this truly is about heritage on what grounds could they oppose such a solution?
I typed all of this up and I read it and reread it wondering if I just sound one sided. Deep down I am an idealist. For me the ideas in the Declaration of Independence about equality and liberty are not mutually exclusive. In order for me to truly be equal then we must all be equal, in order for me to truly be free we must all be free. I think our founding fathers, despite having to compromise on slavery, despite the lack of rights for women at the time it was written; provided for us the true ideal of how great the United States of America could be in the preamble of the Constitution. Because in that one paragraph they did not limit who was establishing this nation instead they used the word WE and it is we the people who are to be united in a more perfect union. They even had the grace to allow for our failures, not a perfect union but a more perfect union, so we can grow and improve ourselves.
So maybe the question we should ask ourselves is do we want to maintain the status quo or find a path to grow together; balance our individual liberties with the ideal of equality for all. Hard decisions and questions to ponder.