I had a dream the other night that keeps replaying in my mind. There was a little lab rat and they started him off in an easy maze, he would run through it and get his little piece of food and was happy. Each day a pair of gloved hands would reach in a lift him out of his cage, place him in the maze and off he would go. Over a short time period, the mazes got larger and more complex. Satisfied that the little rat was sufficiently trained, the scientist started introducing slight static charges if the rat arrived at a dead end and had to turn around. Nothing painful mind you, just a bit of a nudge to discourage going down the wrong path. After a few weeks, the little rat moved more cautiously through the mazes, sniffing for the food at each intersection before proceeding.
Then one day the moved the rat to another room and each day was the same thing. A pair of gloved hands would pick him up out of his cage and place him in the maze. Now each day the maze changed and he could smell the food, however, when he arrived at the dish it might have food, be empty, or he would get shocked when he touched it. And no longer was it a little static electricity shock, but a painful charge. After a few weeks, the rat would try to hide in the corner of his cage from the gloved hands; his fur started falling out and he was losing weight.
One day the hands placed him in the maze and he just lay there, not moving. Suddenly he felt it, the shocking jolt and he took off running. He stopped at an intersection to sniff for the food and as he was trying to decide, suddenly he felt it again and just blindly took off running. He ran all the way down the passage and reached a dead end, more pain racked his little body. He took off running back the way he came, back to the intersection, but the pain continued with each step. Back at the intersection, he tried to stop and sniff, but he was hurting so he took off down another passage. He was lucky and reached the food dish and the pain stopped, but the dish was empty. This continued on, some days there was food, other days nothing. The pain, however, was a constant.
That is where my dream ended and it was so vivid it stuck in my mind, which is very unusual in itself. So, now I am wondering am I the rat? Does the maze represent my depression and anxiety? How long before the poor rat would just give up and lay there or would he keep going? Maybe this was just a nightmare and nothing more. Does anyone else feel like the rat?