On Grieving

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Mary Elizabeth Frye

I read this poem at my Fathers funeral in 2014 and I found in it comfort. Comfort in the reminder that my father is always with me every step of the way through my life.
As loved ones, family and friends; we endure the loss of those we love and all of the heartache it may bring. Yet they are always with us. We celebrate their lives and join together to share in memories; and they are always with us. We regale each other with stories and they live on.
We mourn our loss and that is ok, because their lives filled a special place in our hearts that only they could fill and it takes time. Our mourning and our grief gives us this time to reflect on those we love and is a process not an event. Give yourself permission to grieve. As the memories come forth, cherish them, if you can write them down and share them with others. Remember the smiles, laughter, quirks; everything that made them the person that you love and cherish. Keep them ever in their place within your heart, so that when you need their encouragement those memories will come forth and lift you up.
If there are things you wish you could have said, say them. If there are dreams that you shared, it is ok to fulfill them. Shed your tears as you need to, unashamedly.