On being still

Be still and wait. Hard on any day to remember or accomplish, damn impossible when a loved one is lying in ICU. So I sit here in the waiting room, waiting for visiting hours to start back, taking every moment I can to be with my love, my life, my Phoebe. She is the better part of me. My breathing feels ragged, suffocating, the oxygen missing, I need to hear her voice, to look into her eyes, to tell her I love her and for her to react. I sit as still as I can and wait. I sit and try to nurture my mustard seed.