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Not dreams

Not dreams, wallflowers, that take my hand for a moment and leave me before the end of the song.

Dreams, goals, visions for the future. They haunt my mind, not because they are bad, but because they slip away so fast. I cannot envision tomorrow beyond half an hour from now.

I think every self-help book I have read starts along a similar line, Take a small step or some such equally simple but grand path. So, you start small and build from there, believe in yourself, tell the universe or God this will be so and it will; hush but it is a secret to be dispensed by some guru if you pay them or buy their book. But half an hour is all I have and the hands on the clock move swiftly against me, not even a full deep breath and it is gone, only an illusion.

Now I see events transpiring in the world and my eyes are wide open. Not because they were ever closed, but too focused. Focused on making it through each day and taking care of my family, found something that I am very good at and made a career out of it. It was enough, I could provide a good life for my children, their future would be brighter and they could have dreams like I never could. What a fool I have been. We are racing towards a cliff as a nation, hell-bent on self-destruction, and I have nothing if it all collapses. No way to move forward if I had to start over tomorrow, as things slip through my mind so quickly.

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