Day 22

The day really started as a continuance of yesterday, Phoebe was anxious, demanding to go home and we spent most of the night arguing back and forth about how she was in danger if we left ICU and went home and her arguing she needed to go home and sleep. The day dawned without much headway on the argument as we both staked out positions that were selfish and inconsiderate. This was without a doubt the worst fight we have had in 29 1/2 years of marriage. We spoke with the doctor, a young resident, in the morning and it did not bring any resolution as we both we’re intrenched into our positions. We both said hurtful things to each other, things that only time will tell if the wounds will heal.

The doctors had no more than left the room when Phoebe started screaming that she was scared and could not breathe. In less than a minute her lips started turning blue then purple, I alerted the nurse who just walked into the room and she immediately coded her. Luckily we were in the right ICU at the right time as the doctors and nurses worked quickly to reintubate Phoebe, normalize her stats and get her on the ventilator. This was unfortunately the third intubation on Phoebe that I had to witness part of, I was quickly rushed out of the room and sent to the waiting room. I had to inform our children, well adults, that she had coded and they reintubated her and were working to save her life.

When I was let back into the room Phoebe was still very much afraid and anxious, pouring sweat and I asked her if she would be ok to have a Tracheostomy performed, that it was a surgery to bypass her airway and she nodded her consent just before she tried pulling the tube out of her mouth. She fought against myself and a nurse for what seemed like forever before the nurse was able to get her sedated and calmed down. Tomorrow we will meet with the doctor and I want her to be lucid enough to understand and give her consent to proceed with the surgery. I have no idea what we will do if she refuses to have the surgery. All I can do now is pray that she will consent to have the Tracheostomy performed, there are no other options as her vocal cords are what locked up her airway and they need time to heal.