Month: June 2020

Some days there is nothing but the heartache. Nothing but the pain of loss dragging me down into the depths of despair. Days like today I feel so alone, I want to talk but the words just wont come out of my mouth. I am still grieving in my own way, even if it means all I do is suppress my feelings, pushing them down and bottling them up. It has always been easier to keep it all in rather than deal with the pain, even if it feels like sometimes I am going to break. I think the hardest part, why I suppress how I feel is the mood swings I experience. I could be in the middle of depression and numb the next moment, or happy, who knows. It is also difficult to speak when the words may take hours to string together coherently.

White southerners want to celebrate their “confederate heritage” but expect African Americans to forget about slavery, Jim Crow and the continuing systemic racism. WTF

Words all jumbled up in my mind, wanting out of their prison. They are banging on my skull, screaming incoherently; failing to grasp the futility, not understanding that in the cacophony they produce, I simply cannot think coherent thoughts that would release them out into he world.

Scratching out words
no lines want to rhyme
just ink on paper.

Thoughts slipping past
through time and ether
just ink on paper.

Happiness and despair
flowing freely together
just ink on paper.