We see time as we are taught it, unable to escape it. people want to put God into the box we created. They want our solar system to be the center, however if God created the universe then maybe he resides at the center. Maybe a year for God is the rotation of the universe itself. Just another box though to put God into, we want to accept God but only on our terms and conditions.
Life walks slowly on, each second ticks away, leap seconds, leap days, how we count them or don’t; moving forward, slowing down, speeding up. Maybe it is just more proof that there is so much that we do not understand, that seeking God is not just a straight line but a river we must navigate that is always changing. It could be the thrill for God is being sought after, he wants us in the river, not trying to navigate it but releasing ourselves into the current, not fighting it, accepting it.
It is possible that once we accept God, truly accept God, and surrender to the river, only then will our purpose be revealed. Is that what I fear, that I will never be able to surrender to the current. Even medicated for being Bipolar and attention deficit; my mind is always hyperactive, my emotions and thoughts are always in a certain amount of flux. I expend my energies on working to provide for my family and be a care giver as needed.