self confidence

This is about the damnedest thing ever about my self confidence and how much I struggle with different issues in life. Without going into specific details last night I performed a few tasks for work that had to replicate across a cloud network. Now there were 2 basic parts of this task the first involving removing items and the second involved adding them back new. Because of possible replication issues part 2 was still chugging along this morning causing a few minor headaches. Needless to say this raised my stress level just a bit as I worked to troubleshoot elusive problems that disappeared almost as quickly as I could identify them. So about 1 1/2 to 2 hours to feel certain things were working and all was well. Then it happens, that first part that involved removal, well it was still replicating as well and suddenly all of the items are gone completely. So I felt certain that any new changes now should take effect over older replication and I started from scratch and began the process of re-adding everything back confident that it was the right choice to make given the time frames I was looking at for completion. I was also able to confidently send an email to my bosses and own the mistakes I had made in what occurred and to apologize.So why is it that I can own my mistakes with confidence, knowing that there is then a possibility of repercussions. That when it comes to decisions I make with my work on networks and communications platforms I am confident in my knowledge and understanding; I struggle with communication at times but I know how to do my job effectively. But let me tell you when it comes to my writing, my art work, speaking in public, having conversations with people, trying to build relationships and self confidence leaves me; only insecurities, doubts and fears remain. I find myself desiring to ask for others to give me feedback whether positive or negative because I feel in some ways invisible, always looking for the acknowledgement of my existence, questioning any positive feedback and at once not even wanting any acknowledgement. A hard thing to even put my name on the coloring book I created because I live in this state of Plurality within my mind.
So how does one go about accepting themselves and building their self confidence? What is it that I can do to be more comfortable with myself? Asking the questions is easy, the answering is always the conundrum.