Relationships are one of the stressors in my life. I do not think I ever learned how to be a friend. When my father was transferred to Ft. Benning in March of 1980, I was 6 years old and in the first grade. Between the upending of my world and being dropped into another I withdrew socially, not that I was a social butterfly to begin with. My Mom told me that the first meeting they had with my teacher when I started school, the teacher told them I wouldn’t say anything in class.
So, between being introverted, marching to the different beats of my own little group of drummers, and in general never mastering simple things like conversation, I often feel isolated. Throw in the roller coaster of my mind which struggles to maintain simple structures and I am not the person who can cultivate and maintain relationships. Look, if you count me as your friend and you need me, all you have to do is call me and I will move heaven and earth if I can to help you. I just may never call you or reach out to you because my little mind is worried about work, the family, what needs to be done around the yard or the house. And sometimes I am just in a cycle of depression, with drawn from everything but the essentials.