Moving onward

Now that my Bipolar disorder is medicinally under control it is a great time to work on my skill sets to deal with everyday life. Medicine can only do so much, in my case I am emotionally on an even keel, however the storms of my mind are still raging. The medicine cannot change my ways of thinking, I still have negative thoughts running through my head, still have the same self esteem issues, still lack organization and structure in my life to effectively balance work and home life. So I have a laundry list of things I want to do and yet my mind works against me in accomplishing any tasks.

Currently I am working my way through 2 books in an attempt to get my mind working right. The first book is Why Am I Still Depressed by Jim Phelps, MD and the second is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Lawrence Wallace. The first book is giving me a deeper understanding of the brain disorder from which I suffer, while the second book I am using as a self help guide to start getting my ways of thinking turned around. Now I know ideally CBT should be done through a good therapist however living in a country without universal healthcare one must muddle along the best one can while balancing health with copay’s and deductibles. I still have a stack of medical bills to pay due to a high deductible insurance plan, so, I have to just make the tough decisions on where my money goes.

I know going into this that there is a high risk of failure doing it on my own, but the alternative is to do nothing and attempt to maintain the untenable status quo. Therefore I have nothing to lose in being my own therapist for awhile. If you would like to learn more about bipolar disorder NIMH has a good overview here.