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Month: November 2021

The Tentacles of Caste

“Those in the dominant caste who found themselves lagging behind those seen as inherently inferior potentially faced an epic existential crisis. To stand on the same rung as those perceived to be of a lower caste is seen as lowering one’s status. In the zero-sum stakes of a caste system upheld by perceived scarcity, if a lower-caste person goes up a rung, an upper-caste person comes down. The elevation of others amounts to a demotion of oneself, thus equality feels like a demotion.” Isabel Wilkerson Caste The Origins of Our Discontents P183 Random House 2020.

There is no fluff in the book Caste, in fact it is an emotionally taxing read and I firmly believe many people need to read and understand the history of the racial caste system in the United States. I pulled out this particular quote though because it just feels so relevant in these days and times, social media seems to be full of angry people posting pictures of fast food restaurants offering 15-20 dollars an hour just trying to fill positions. I have never understood where this kind of anger comes from until I read the passage, then it clicked. It makes me sad that we, the human race, find ourselves chained to such ingrained mores. How do we escape the clutches of such thinking and embrace the egalitarian principals laid out in the Declaration of Independence and the Preamble of the Constitution.

Maybe it is just that I am an Idealist and a dreamer, but deep down I want everyone to be equal and afforded the opportunity to pursue their success. I know many of us will fall short and struggle to find our way and that is ok. I would rather stand and hold the ladder for others to climb higher than trying to knock anyone down. Or in the words of Damien Marley from So a child may follow “Dread shine your light, so a child may follow, many have been lost along the way.” If more of us are shining our lights, holding onto ladders, or reaching out our hands to help others up we could change the world.


Today is for many a happy occasion, a time to enjoy company and food, watch football and prepare for black friday sales. Unfortunately for many today is a struggle, it is a day filled with dread of the same family fights that play out year after year. For others today is filled with sorrow, memories of loved ones who have passed away and the pain of grief. Then there are those who through circumstances of life, find themselves out on the street. Many of those in such a prosperous nation are those who volunteered to fight in wars and came home broken; unable to adapt, filled with the pain of losing comrades in arms, living with PTSD and the effects of war on the mind and soul. Then there are those who are just broken physically or mentally, unable to hold down jobs; life has defeated them.

Sometimes it is difficult to remember to celebrate being thankful when seeing such pain in the world. It hurts to think “there but for the grace of God go I” when that feels in some way a curse, being unable to help those truly in need when my paycheck barely stretches to cover the medical bills that pile up. It is not cheap to have mental illness or physical illness, some people in this world believe that it is punishment from God and spread their false doctrine of prosperity gospel. They fail to see that every time Israel turned away from helping the sick, the poor, widows, children, the imprisoned that God punished them.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for medication that works, for a job at an amazing company that positively impacts the lives of others, for a family to love that loves me back.

Another Day

Just trying to think of what I want to write is excruciating. My mind feels adrift, just out of reach. I thought maybe writing my blog post with VI would help stimulate my thoughts. Instead they feel so far away. I am alone in my own darkness. Somedays I just want to give up on trying to write or doing anything creative. Most of the time it is easier to just escape into my work than it is to find balance between work and personal time. Work is so much easier, I know the tasks I need to accomplish and can throw myself into the work because I enjoy it. It is also much simpler knowing what needs to be accomplished than it is trying to create nothing from scratch. It isn’t like I don’t enjoy writing and drawing, I do enjoy them but my mind just escapes me.
I look back at some of my journals and I seem to be stuck in the same loop for decades now. It was so much easier in school to write when I had an assignment to accomplish. I guess I work best when I have a deadline to accomplish. Right now I only write for a reason I can not even articulate. Time escapes me and I find myself in the middle of a desert, running from mirage to mirage.
So I made the mistake of trying to write to a disk with out write permission, never a dull moment when it comes to computers, good thing I know how to fix a few things.