I have spent months starting posts I never finished. Wanting to express myself but simply being too discouraged and depressed to get anything coherent out of my head. For months I have been trying to make sense of how to be thankful that I am blessed and fortunate to be keeping my job during a downsizing at my employer, while my fellow colleagues have been let go. With the health problems of my little family and debts from medical, education, and life expenses I am ever so grateful to still be employed but I know I am not unique or special in that regard.
So, in this New Year I will just keep pushing forward and praying. It will feel better, when it stops hurting.