Month: January 2016

It is the same thing every morning, I have to fight with myself to get out of bed. I feel like I am carrying so much weight on my shoulders that it is easier just to lay there than to get up. In the end my responsibilities and my fear of failing pull me onward.How sad that I have lost the desire to succeed, or is it just pathetic, I really never know the difference. It has been so long I do not even remember what that feeling is anymore to want to succeed. All I want to do is make it through each day.

My wife Phoebe gave me Everday Blessings by Max Lucado for my birthday and since my blog suffers from my scatter brainness, I am going to try to use this as a jumping point for some of my posts this year. She also gave me a book of writing prompts and I will try to use those as well. I will not be plagiarizing the book and only on occasion will I quote from the book, instead I will talk about what I understand about the verse. Now no offense to Mr Lucado but he only gives a single verse and I have to take entire passages to gain my understanding.

so here we go today’s verse is 1 John 4:12, now based on the 2 topics of the chapter I have only included 7-21 from the NIV

7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13 This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

I just want to pull out these specific verses because they really get to the heart of the matter and why I think we all may just be screwed, especially myself.

12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.

Can God live in us if we harbor hate in our heart? I search my heart and there is a long list of people who deep down I hate; racists (real ones, not that pretend reverse racism bullshit), religious fanatics, those who preach falsely, xenophobes, rapists, murders. I could keep going but I will offer up one other that I often hate which is myself; because I have looked at myself honestly and though I continue to try to improve there are still things about myself that trigger that response.

If we do manage to get past the hate, what about fear? I look at my life and I know my fears; losing those I love, of failing or losing my job, fear of letting go and just being myself, fear of being judged or ridiculed because I see the world a little differently. These are fears that have controlled my life for so long I am not sure what I would do with out them.

So I do not know what to do. Sometimes I look around and ask myself why should I worry about trying to love others as God has commanded, when so many others do not seem to care; oh they claim Jesus, profess his name and in the same breath cast him out of their hearts with their words and deeds.

Is it love if all we can do is pray for those we hate, ask God to forgive us for how we feel about them and to work on our hearts until we no longer hate them?

Well I finally finished reading The Unfettered Mind by Takuan Sõhõ translated by William Scott Wilson, for the second time. I think that I will definitely need to either reread the book a few more times or perhaps learn Japanese and read it in the original to grasp a few of the concepts that do not seem to translate very well. Overall though I think much of the translation is understandable and well worth reading.

One part of the book that stands out to me and is a recurring message that this world needs to hear repeated often; mastery comes from 20 to 30 years of study and application. This is something we just do not want to hear, we want the quick and easy, one and done approach to everything in our lives. It is a hard pill to swallow.