Oh No, in my best Kevin Hart voice

So you want to be pimping yourself to the world as a blogger and author, where do you start? A couple of hours of web searching will get you some solid advice and a whole lot of “Hey sign up for my blog and I will tell you how to grow yours.” So you give them your email address, which in turn gets you an email, which pitches you on a free webinar, which tries to sell you a very special offer exclusively to respondents for some price, and it probably just walks you through signing up for paid premium services with another company from which they earn commission. So for only $49.95 or $99.95, depending on the number of followers the person has, you can pay to get a recommendation to buy the premium version of Yoast SEO for WordPress.

So other than creating your own Multi Level Marketing scheme and learning how to be a grifter you are left with this simple formula to success; write great content consistently, network, sacrifice time and energy on the altar of hopes and dreams, network some more, cultivate a following, do some more networking, pray, cry. I am thinking I am more suited to the Conan method of marketing “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!”

Probably best that I have a good steady job.