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Frustration

I have an essential tremor, essential in that it is not a familial tremor genetically inherited. Somedays it is imperceptible, almost like a slight vibration, other days it is a noticeable tremor in my hands and arms; then there are the times my whole body shakes, my wife Phoebe used to notice when we had a waterbed I would shake in my sleep. What makes it such a frustration is I want to draw and paint, but I am a perfectionist and so the imperfection of the lines I try and draw is like nails on a chalkboard to me. The simple truth is I need to learn to accept the tremor and own it in my art work, I need to incorporate it into my own style and learn to loosen up. I also need to suck it up and use the tools available to me such as rulers when I need straight lines, or curved rulers when I need curves. Just one of the many things in my life I need to work on.

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