I used to joke and say I am not a control freak, I just like to be in control. I used to be so bad that I would never ride with anyone else because I would not have control. Then I read a post on Facebook that opened with the following “How do you know someone feels unsafe in their body (+ therefore the world?) They’re controlling.” It is an interesting premise and I spent quite a bit of time today reflecting on my life and this idea that I might feel unsafe and that drives controlling behavior patterns in my life.
I strongly believe in honest introspection, because I believe we can all become better people if we look at ourselves more than we look at the behavior of others. At the end of the day we are responsible for who we are and towards that end we must temper the core of our souls, chiseling away at our imperfections, even if it takes a lifetime.
To that end I am looking at my life to clear away the negatives and replace them with positives. Only time will tell if I succeed. At least now I have a new perspective on an irrational behavior pattern, control issues; and I can see some of the pavers that contributed to the path of fear that leaves me feeling unsafe.